Finding Salvation
by CatLionsfire
Summary: This is Jasper's PoV from my Fic "Fallen Angels". This won't make much sense without reading that.
1. Chapter 1

Pain.

Run.

Agony.

Run.

Brown Eyes? Freesias?

Blood.

NO.

RUN.

I was out the door of the house and I just ran. I ran away from the house that I shared with my wife of so long. I ran from the pitying looks, and the sadness, and their feelings of loss. Running felt cathartic, I wanted to keep running, never stopping. If I stopped I would have to face the fact that the woman I loved had left me for my _brother. _

A growl ripped its way out of my throat. Anger that I had been pushing back, out of fear of losing it, came boiling to the forefront. The growl quickly turned into a full on roar of fury. I began destroying everything I could get my hands on, trees fell and were turned to woodchips, boulders became rubble. It was hours, and almost a square mile of devastation before I was able to reign myself back in.

I collapsed.

From behind me, someone let out a whistle, "Damn. I knew you were a badass, but it looks like a fucking bomb went off here." Emmett.

"You are damn lucky you only just now approached, a minute sooner and I probably would have ripped you apart too." I sighed.

"Then you would have to explain to Esme and Rosalie why I was in pieces." He smirked.

I actually shuddered at the thought. "What do you want Emmett?"

He sprawled out on the ground a few feet away, "To make sure that you don't do anything stupid."

I growled at him.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Rosie sent me. She is with Esme taking care of Bella."

Bella. I hadn't even thought of her.

"Shit, is she okay?" I asked.

"She read the letter that the Great Cock Bite himself left her and passed out. She hasn't come to yet."

I jumped up, growling, "It's bad enough that those bastards did this to me, but Bella is innocent."

Emmett let out a quiet growl of his own, "Don't I know it. That is my baby sister. Carlisle says it's just shock, but it still terrifies me to see her all pale and weak like that." He looked truly frightened, "Jazz Man, I know you are pretty fucked up right now too, but I think she needs help."

I looked away from him, "I don't know. I can't even help myself right now. How could I possibly help her?"

Emmett was up in a flash, and his foot connected with my back in a flash. In my shock, I landed on the ground. "By getting off your ass, and manning the fuck up." He held out a hand to help me up, I took it. "She is family, and she can't compartmentalize nearly as well as you can, nor can she go out and annihilate a small ecosystem."

He was right, despite everything I was going through, for her it would be a thousand times worse.

"Besides Jazz, if anyone can help you get past what those ass hats did, it might be someone who knows what you are feeling." Emmett may have been the family clown, but sometimes he still took me by surprise with his wisdom.

As we were racing back to the house he said, "Hey! I know what would make you feel better! I could call Tanya! She has been panting after you for a decade or two. Tapping some new strange is just the cure!" It was just like Emmett to temper wisdom with a suggestion that I get laid. I shoved him into a tree.

"What?" He asked innocently as he jumped up.

"Only you would suggest that hours after finding out that my wife had left me." I rolled my eyes.

"Any good friend would." He patted my back and went to join Rosalie, who was standing vigil with Bella.

I peeked into the room, Emmett was right, she looked awful. Under the veil of sleep I could feel her pain. I winced, I had never found a person like Bella before. She felt everything so strongly. Her pain at losing Edward was no different. She was slowly coming back to consciousness however. I sent her a little jolt to help wake her up. When I could tell it was working, I ducked out of the room.

I ran up to the room that I shared with Alice. I stood outside the door for several moments, reluctant to enter. Then I saw Alice and Edward walking away hand in hand. I pushed the door open with so much force that it splintered. I tore through the room, shredding the furniture and clothes that were scattered around the room, the castoffs she didn't feel the need to take.

I stopped briefly when I was standing before the bed I had shared with my wife. We had made so many memories in this bed. I heard someone chuckle at the door, and saw Emmett, "Fuck it up Jasper, you'll feel better." I promptly tore the bed to tiny pieces. There were fluffy pieces of mattress floating around, coating the room in a white powder.

I headed for the door that led to my office, but Emmett finally stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "Dude, you will regret that. That was your space, Alice barely set foot in there."

He was right, again. This must be some kind of crazy record for him. I nodded. I looked around at the devastation in the room.

"Let's go downstairs." He clapped his hand on my shoulder and gently led me out of the room. I was hit by waves of agony and fear of abandonment. I was downstairs in half a heart beat.

What I saw tore at my heart. Bella was curled up in a ball sobbing uncontrollably. Her whole body was shaking.

"Bella!" My voice seemed to startle her. She looked up at me, her eyes still slightly glazed over.

"J-Jasper?"

I was shocked by her emotions. "Bella, do you think so little of us?" I whispered. "Do you think that we are going to leave you? Is that what I am sensing?" I arched an eyebrow at her and crossed my arms. She nodded at me.

Esme almost exploded, I stepped out again when I felt Bella's relief at the knowledge that we weren't leaving. When I passed the mirror in the hall I realized that I was a mess. I figured it was only a matter of time before Esme reamed me for tracking dirt around the house. I didn't even want to see the look on her face when she saw my old bedroom. I showered quickly and decided to see how Bella was doing.

I found her in the kitchen, picking at a plate of breakfast food. It smelled about as appealing as a dumpster. The moment she saw me she was filled with guilt. She must have realized that I knew exactly what I was feeling.

"I'm sorry Bella." I looked down, I was strangely scared of this little human. I had spent so little time with her.

"Why are you sorry Jasper?" She tilted her head to the side, curious.

"Because Bella, I knew. I didn't know that they would do this, but I had been feeling changes around the two of them. I should have realized… It could have saved you from all this hurt… It could have saved us both." It was true, I was intentionally not seeing it for months. My desire for normalcy blocking out my realization of the obvious.

"Jasper, what would that have done? How would you pointing out the truth make it any easier to live with what they have done? It would have made it worse! Edw-Edward and Alice left us. They left us and ran away together! Don't feel guilty! Be Angry! I am!" Her pain and fury hit me like a sledge hammer. I actually collapsed under the weight of our combined pain.

Esme came in and scooped her up, tucking her into one of the spare rooms. Slowly I managed to come around to my senses. I was panting, trying to adjust to everything. Rose helped me to my feet, and led me outside.

"Let's go for a hunt." Nothing else had to be said, she just hugged me and sprinted off into the woods. I looked back at the house, hoping that Bella would be okay while I was gone. Then, I ran.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys, here is the next chapter! Let me know what you think!**

Chapter Two

Hunting with Rose was always an experience. Unlike Emmett who loved a challenge, and really loved making a scene, Rosalie preferred stealth. She would ghost up to her prey and take it down before it had the chance to register its impending doom.

My favorite thing about Rose was that she knew me, better than I really knew myself. She knew that I didn't need to _talk _about my _feelings. _I just needed a bit of normalcy so that I could work things out in my head.

Lub-Thump.

Lub-Thump.

As silently as possible I headed towards the heartbeat. A quick scenting of the air told me that it was a bobcat. Small, but still a predator, which was preferable to more deer. The little hunter didn't even know I was there; it was so focused on a rabbit a few feet in front of it. Lightning fast I reached out and snapped its neck, sinking my teeth into the furry neck. Despite the critter's small size it was more than adequate to fill me up. I had hunted just the day before.

I decided to find Rose. She was so good at blending in that it made it hard to track her at times. Most people thought she just naturally stood out, because of her intense beauty. But Rose is an enigma. She only stood out when she felt like it. The rest of the time, she just blended in with her surroundings. Besides, finding her would be a good distraction. The mild high achieved whilst hunting was wearing off. Thoughts of Alice and Edward were invading my brain.

The monster in me raged against them. I raged at Edward for taking my mate, and yet I raged at Alice for pretending to be my mate in the first place. She had to have known. She told me that we were meant to be together. She told me that no matter what, she would always love me. I was such a fool. When I met her, I was so starved for any kind of affection. Hell, I would have settled for being acknowledged. Just when I thought I was going to give up, BAM! There she was, a little firecracker of energy, sweeping me off to find our destiny.

The man in me was just lost. While the monster raved, the man just sat quietly. I didn't know what I was going to do without Alice. She had supported me, helped me keep my urges in check. I had loved her with everything I had. Apparently, she preferred bronze haired girly-boys. In a sick way it made sense. They suited each other. They were both selfish, too wrapped up in themselves.

I heard a rustle of leaves, and out came Rose. She didn't have a hair out of place, but her eyes were practically a glowing gold. She grinned, "Better?"

I nodded and gestured at her mouth, "Missed a spot." She wiped the little drop of blood away. "Why is that much scarier that when Emmett shows up covered head to toe in blood and fur?"

Rose grinned, "Because they never see me coming."

I just shook my head, "You are a scary bitch Rosalie." An affectionate smile was tugging at the corners of my lips.

She looped her arm in mine and we started back towards the house, "Then aren't you glad you are my favorite brother?" She smiled wickedly.

"Yes ma'am." I grinned back at her.

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><p>I spent some time in my study. I cleaned out all my mementos involving Alice. Instead of destroying them however, I put them in a small box. Much as I hated her and Edward right now, not all of these memories were bad. I knew that I may want them again someday. So I tucked them all neatly in a box, and arranged to have it sent to Jenks, the family's attorney.<p>

Just thinking about him made me grin, I loved terrifying that man. Normally I dislike feeling a human's fear, but Jenks was a bit skeevy. I knew that if he suspected that I was anything less than a killer, he would screw me over. His fear never ceased to amuse me. I would have to pay a visit to him soon, to arrange my divorce from Alice.

When I felt the emotional climate change downstairs, I decided to investigate. Bella was crying on Rose, it was one of those sights that you expect to see once in a human lifetime. But I knew that Rose was feeling incredibly protective of Bella. She was pissed off at Edward and Alice, more so than even me.

Bella was a whirlwind of emotions, she was sad. Not the normal, "Oh no I had a bad day sad," no, this was the too the bone, just plain lost sad. She felt so inadequate, and so… helpless. I knew that feeling well. But underneath it all, I felt her determination. But despite that when she told Rose that she was done crying I was shocked. This little human, who had suffered through so much, was already taking the first steps towards healing. I was amazed. She actually wished them happiness, whereas I wished them a long walk off a short pier, preferably over a bonfire.

Not wanting to intrude on the girl's moment, I started to walk away. But then Carlisle and Esme came in the room. Both were somber, and filled with dread. I knew this couldn't be a good thing.

They suggested to Bella that she fake her own death. I thought it was a brilliant idea. Bella just seemed shocked at first. Then the floodgates opened. I had never felt anything like it. I knew pain, I was the king of inflicting pain, but I had nothing on what this girl was capable of. When her emotions washed over me, it felt like there was a hole where my non-beating heart resided. I gasped, and quickly sent wave after wave of the strongest calm I could manage.

Immediately her brown eyes connected with mine, guilt flooded through her as she took in what I knew to be a haggard appearance. She looked down, and I sent her another wave of calm. "No Bella, it's okay. You seem to forget so easily, remember what I told you before, while we were keeping you safe from James? You are worth it." I smiled at her, and she tentatively smiled back. It wasn't much, but it was certainly a start.

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><p>Carlisle gathered us all at the dinner table to brainstorm about how to pull off faking Bella's death. I sat quietly off to the end of the table, not really participating. My eyes were on Bella. Outwardly, she appeared calm. But underneath she was still a mess of emotions, no human should be able to handle. This human girl never ceased to amaze me. When they asked her opinion she merely stated that she didn't want it to look like suicide. She was very resolute in that demand. Of course Carlisle and Esme agreed, they knew how traumatic it would be to her family if it appeared that Bella had taken her own life. I knew she was getting overwhelmed and I was about to suggest she leave, when Bella excused herself.<p>

After she left, Esme quickly informed us that we were planning on going to the Montana house. I gave her a grateful smile, because that was my favorite of the Cullen properties. We also made quiet plans as to how we were going to deal with Bella's "Death" and leaving town without casting suspicion.

"I am going to talk to Bella." I stood up to go, "If you need my help, just ask."

Carlisle nodded, "I think we can handle it son. We will take care of it tonight, after Bella has gone to bed. Do you mind watching over her?" His concern for both of us warmed me a little.

"I think I can handle it."

He nodded, and continued the discussion with the rest of the family. I followed Bella's emotional signature towards Esme's garden. Bella was sitting on a little stone bench, lost in her grief.

"Mind if I joined you out here?" I put a hand on her shoulder, and it startled her. I was shocked by the sheer warmth of her.

"No, of course not… it's your house…" She seemed to feel the same mild awkwardness that I did. We had never really spent any time together. Our Arizona trip was just a little too emotionally charged for us to really bond.

I really didn't want to make a speech, but she had to know that we all wanted her here. Carlisle and Esme saw her as a beloved daughter; Rose and Emmett saw her as a little sister to love. I just saw Bella, and she was someone I wanted to be around. "It's your house now too Bella," I gave her a stern look so that she would know that I was serious, "You are apart of this family, we all love you and want to take care of you. I know you are worried about your parents, but we will work something out. Especially for Charlie. You don't have to be afraid. I promise." I stopped, damn, speech.

"What's wrong Jasper?"

I looked up at her quickly, "Nothing you did, and I'm frustrated with myself. I told myself I wasn't going to make a speech." I gave her my best southern charm grin. It worked, she smiled back.

"Jasper, I know we haven't spent much time together before, with _him _being so cautious but… Do you think we can be friends? I mean, I am your friend, I just… If you think you would be okay spending time with a human. Um, crap, I'm not doubting your control… please stop me from rambling!"

I couldn't contain my amusement. It seems I am not the only one who tends to babble. "Bella darlin, I would very much like being your friend. I think it would help us both… cope with the decisions our ex's made. I know how you are feeling and vice versa." I tried to hide my grin, but her blush was incredibly cute.

She blushed an even deeper shade of red before asking, "Ok… So, do you know where we are going? I know we can't exactly stay here."

"Montana, we have a ranch up there, it's my favorite of our houses. I think Esme was trying to make me feel better by choosing it. We haven't been in 30 years. It's in the middle of nowhere, so we won't have to worry about exposure." There were minimal humans in the area and it was close to a state park. I was also ideal if Bella wanted to be changed quickly.

"Montana huh? Should be… Interesting." Bella leaned back and looked up at the stars. There was a quiet contentment on her face that had me incapable of looking away. "Did you know that when I was little, I used to sneak outside just to look up at the stars? Renee would have to come and put me back to bed. She used to tell me that the stars were angels, watching over me. Which is odd, because she was never really religious. I used to pretend I was one of them, fallen to earth to live out life as a human."

She looked over at me, and her emotions were a balm to what I had been experiencing. I smiled at her. Thinking of a place that I thought she'd enjoy I said, "Just wait till we get to Montana, I will take you to the highest spot on the ranch. The sky is so clear, it seems like you can see every single star."

"Thank you Jasper, I never told anyone about that particular childhood memory. I always thought people would find it silly. I guess it's because I never really fit in with people, humans anyway." I was glad she hadn't. Much as it saddened me that she had been lonely, I was glad she made her way to our family. She made everyone happy. Even now, just sitting next to me I felt her calm acceptance of us and her future. The monster that I kept locked up in a cage inside even seemed momentarily content.

"Never feel bad about being different Bella; it's what makes you who you are. Maybe you never were supposed to fit in with humans, I believe you were always supposed to be a part of this family."

She got a little teary, and I almost thought that I had upset her. Then I felt a wave of happiness. I was so shocked that I nearly jumped when she threw her arms around me in a hug. "Sorry, I forgot! I just felt so relieved." She blushed again.

"It's okay Bella, I was just startled." I smiled at her, "But I believe it is time to go inside. They are through with the arrangements, and Emmett is distressed because I am 'hogging the human'." It was just loud enough that I heard it. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you need to go, I don't know, do something else, like have obnoxiously loud sex with Rose?" Keeping our conversation too quiet for Bella was automatic for us. Both of us were born into times where you treated a lady with the utmost respect.

"At least I'm getting some, _Major._"

Rosalie hissed at him, "Not with that attitude."

I smirked at him, and he flipped me the bird. It was too fast a motion for Bella to see, and just a second later he scooped her up and spun her around. I left her in his capable hands so that I could go back to my study and begin packing.

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><p><strong>Thanks to CaptainHawkeye8 who is the best brother a girl could ask for. These past two chapters are unbeta'd so I apologize for any mistakes. I wanted to get them out tonight, so that you guys had something to read! Please Review! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you will continue to let me know what you think. **

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><p>Chapter Three<p>

I walked into my office and realized that everything that was in this room, as well as a box or two of clothes was all that I needed to pack. It was the work of a few hours, tops.

I actually had a closet full of clothes; I just really didn't want them. Alice had picked almost everything out for me. I only wore them to make her happy. Now that her happiness was no longer a deciding factor in my life, I didn't feel the need to wear clothes that I felt were ridiculous. I quickly packed all the clothes I wanted to keep into two medium size boxes. Unfortunately, I would have to pick up some new clothes. But I could put it off for now. The boxes contents were simple things, like jeans, t-shirts, and several button downs. It only took a few minutes to get all the shit I wasn't keeping and stuff it into trash bags for Esme to donate to Goodwill.

I heard laughter and odd noises coming from the kitchen. The joy and mischievousness coming from the room drew me downstairs to investigate. I could hear Esme berating Emmett for instigating a fruit and chocolate war with Bella. I had to see this. Walking in the first thing I notices was Bella, covered in chocolate syrup.

"Nice hair Bella, chocolate suits you." I drawled. She blushed, and finished wiping off the table before hurrying out of the room.

Emmett had chocolate covered cantaloupe in his hair, I was about to tell him when he interrupted me, "Hey Jazz Man! Wanna help me clean up?"

I smirked, "Not a chance." My eyes drifted up to the ceiling, which was also chocolate covered. There were even bits of fruit sticking to the ceiling and walls.

"Aww man, but if Rosie sees this she'll go ballistic. She told me the next time I messed with human food she was gonna remove a nut." He looked at me pleadingly.

"That is exactly why I won't help you. Maybe there will finally get peace and quiet around here." I tossed him a new roll of paper towels. "I'd hurry."

He scrubbed like a madman, while I went back to my study. I heard Rose enter the kitchen and start screeching. I chuckled as Emmett tried to stutter that Bella started it. That didn't go over well.

"Is that cantaloupe in your hair?" Rose's screech carried up the stairs. I barely contained the snort that was trying to escape. Tuning them out, I concentrated on packing some of my books. Some were very old and required special handling. I was wrapping a few first editions when Carlisle knocked on the door.

"Come in." He entered and I gestured to my couch with the book in my hand, he smirked. It wasn't often that Carlisle showed his mischievous side. But he and I were in cahoots when it came to my couch. It was _hideous, _and Esme _hated_ it. This is exactly why I made sure to take it to every house we moved to. I told her that it had extreme sentimental value. Carlisle was the only other one to know that I really didn't care about the couch. I just like bugging Esme. She bristles at the mere sight of the thing, and frequently leaves furniture catalogues placed around my room in a not so discreet manner. It was hilarious.

He settled onto the couch and sighed. "How are you doing son?"

I gently packed another book away before answering, "As well as can be expected Carlisle."

"Care to elaborate?" He asked quietly.

"Not really." When he just gave me a patient look I said, "I'm angry Carlisle. I want to rip them to shreds, but at the same time, beg them to just make things normal again." I glared at the bubble wrap, like it was all the packing materiel's fault.

"That is completely understandable Jasper. You have suffered a tremendous loss. We all have, and we will get through it together. You aren't alone in this son." He stood up and made his way over to me, he clapped me on the shoulder and then started wrapping a book. He moved at human speed, giving me time to think. "We are going to stage a car accident tonight." He said it conversationally, like it was something we did once a week just for kicks.

"Oh? Do you need assistance?" I prepped another box.

"No, but it will require the rest of us. I was hoping that you would stay here with Bella."

"I don't see a problem with that." I loaded the wrapped books into the box. "You know that the wolves are going to be suspicious."

"Actually I recently met with Sam Uley. He is currently the Alpha. He and I had previously discussed the deal that Alice and Edward made with the Volturi. Obviously, he thoroughly disliked the idea. But he had heard many stories about our leaders. He knows that it is folly to go against their wishes, and that fighting them would only end in the slaughter of his pack and his people."

"That is incredibly level headed thinking for a werewolf."

"Sam is a good man. It was actually his idea to fake Bella's death. He will want an update on her life status regularly. He says he is willing to make an exception and let us turn Bella, so long as we control her and make sure that she sticks to our vegetarian diet."

"Wow." I really didn't think that the wolves were capable of such logic.

"This has cause quite a bit of an uproar in the pack, but he assures me that everything will be fine." He finished wrapping another book, and put it in the box. "We need to leave, but Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure Emmett doesn't get a hold of any of this bubble wrap. You know how it irritates Esme."

"Not a problem, especially after last time." I said, with an amused smile.

"It took Esme days to fix the walls and stairs. She still growls about that from time to time."

"I told Emmett that it was a bad idea to wrap himself in bubble wrap and roll down the stairs, he just wouldn't listen." He had put several holes in the wall and demolished the stairs. I thought for sure that Esme was going to pull off a few of his limbs, but she settled for making him do all the housework for three months.

"Indeed." He chuckled, before his face once again got serious, "Take care of Bella son. She's still in pretty bad shape."

"I will." I liked the little human, and I wanted to get to know her better now that Edward wasn't hovering around her.

"Thank you." He left me to go and gather the rest of the family.

I heard everyone getting ready to leave in the foyer. I stood at the top of the stairs as Esme hugged Bella. She told them she was planning on going to bed. She got hugs from everyone.

She watched them leave before I interrupted her musings, "I will be in my study reading if you need me alright Bella?"

She nodded before saying, "Goodnight Jasper." She rushed up past me to go to the spare room she was using as her own.

I headed back to my study, all the while keeping close tabs on Bella's emotional state. The pain she felt was astounding. I sent her a few small waves of lethargy, to send her to sleep, before settling down on my incredibly ugly couch to read.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I really love writing from this perspective, it is a lot of fun. Though I oft have to seek male wisdom from my roommate and brother. Enjoy this new chapter! I am already working on the next, and I am quite sure that reviews would give me an excellent jump start to finish. **

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><p>Chapter Four<p>

Reading is a favorite pass time of mine. It is a good way to wile away the endless hours of immortality. Sex is better, but obviously that wasn't something in my near future. Some people would think that because I fought in the Civil War that I wouldn't want anything else to do with it, which was true for many years. But in the last decade or so, I have been branching out, looking for historically accurate books on the War of Northern Aggression. Accurate texts were few and far between, but it was fun to pick apart the truth from fanciful lies.

I was deeply engrossed in a particularly well written book when I felt the emotional climate in the house shift. I knew that no one had returned, which meant that something was wrong with Bella. I quickly set down my book and headed towards her room.

What I heard almost made my undead heart skip a beat. Bella was sobbing, and moaning. When I reached her door, she started screaming. I rushed to her side, but I wasn't sure what to do. I leaned down and grabbed her shoulders, gently shaking her, "Bella! Please! Wake up!" Her tear filled eyes slowly fluttered open. "Oh thank the stars! Bella are you okay?" The pain she was experiencing was ripping through me, but I was more concerned about the fragile creature in front of me.

"Jasper? You left. You all left!" She started sobbing again. I had no clue how to help her, and I was quickly becoming overwhelmed by the mass amount of pain generated between the two of us.

I finally managed to gasp out, "Bella! Please! We haven't left. We will never leave you! I promise!" I tried to contain my grimace as she sobbed once again, she must have seen the look, because she immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry Jasper! I'm so sorry. I can go…" She choked out in between gasps for air.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous! This is your home!" I wasn't sure how to deal with an upset human. Crying women were never a specialty of mine. But I figured a hug would help. It seemed to work for Rose and Esme when Bella was upset before. I slowly opened up my arms, completely clueless as to how she would react. When she opened her arms up too, I scooped her up. I knew that my gift was far more effective with physical contact, so I sent her several waves of calm.

"Bella, do you want to talk about it?" This wasn't a strong point either, but Emmett frequently told me that girls like to talk about their feelings. This was untrue with Alice, who was too often lost in the future. Happily Bella shook her head. I let out an internally held breath.

"I-I think I'm okay now. Thank you." She gave me a small, forced smile. She then seemed to notice her rather disheveled appearance. I thought it was perfectly acceptable after a nightmare like that. She stood up and wiped her tears on the comforter. "Maybe I should shower…"

I smiled at her, "Okay. There should be fresh towels in the bathroom. Esme left some spare clothing in the armoire over there. Would you like me to fix you something?"

"No thank you Jasper. Food doesn't sound appealing at the moment." She made a face. It was cute. I never thought I would find a human facial expression cute. Emmett must be rubbing off on me.

"Alright darlin, I will wait down the hall." I got up and left, I decided to stay close in case she needed me to calm her down again. I heard her rummage around the armoire, before heading to the bathroom. She was fine for the first few minutes, but then I felt the pain welling up again. She was on the verge of a full scale panic attack. I sent her waves of calm and peace. She stopped panicking and quickly finished her shower. I settled on the floor while she dried off and got dressed.

Outside the sun was coming up, I knew the family would be home soon. I only hoped that the news of her own death wouldn't send Bella spinning off the deep end. I had a feeling though that it was more the loss of her birth parents and her current life that upset her more than Edward leaving.

The bathroom door opened and I jumped up, and reached out to hug her again. I used my gift to gently wash away the residual pain. She pulled away and smiled at me. It was a genuine smile, and it warmed my heart.

Downstairs, I heard the family come in. They knew Bella was awake, so they purposefully made noise to let her know that they were home. Vampire courtesy. The smile on her face grew till she was practically beaming. She raced down the stairs; I was close behind her, hoping she wouldn't trip.

She did trip, but it wasn't until the last step. Emmett swooped in to catch her and twirl her around. She actually giggled. He asked several rapid fire questions, which she answered in a similar fashion. It was refreshing to watch the two of them together. It was even more refreshing to watch them together and feel no jealousy or resentment from Rose. She just stood their, watching them. She was smiling contentedly and her emotions backed her up. She enjoyed watching them as much as I did. They were really the closest thing to siblings you could get without actually sharing parents.

Carlisle was amused at the display, but he was more mournful than happy. He informed Bella about the accident and told her that Charlie had arrived on the scene. At first, she was blank, which was incredibly disconcerting. But after a moment, she barreled into Esme's arms.

Esme pulled Bella into her arms, carefully leading her over to the couch. Bella cried and cried. She just curled up in Esme's lap and let it out. It was times like this that I wish alcohol had an effect on vampires. I knew that she had to experience this pain, but that didn't make it any easier on her or me. I stood off to the side, with my back to a wall. I had to work really hard to fight the reflex to calm her down. If it got too out of hand, I would intervene, but for now I let her grieve.

It was well over an hour later that Bella's tears finally started to slow down. Rose was growling at me, "Why didn't you calm her down? She was crying so much!"

"Because she has to grieve, she has to feel the loss now or it will only be worse." I snapped at her. I couldn't help it. Damn it, it _hurt _to not do everything I could to make Bella's pain go away.

Bella slowly sat up. She looked around the room, a little confused. She looked over at Esme.

"My beautiful daughter, I'm so sorry." She was heartbroken. She hated seeing any of us in pain, but it was the worst with Bella. Bella was the heart of our family.

Bella reached up and brushed the some hair out of Esme's eyes. "Esme, Mom, I'm okay. Or at least, I am as close to okay as I am going to get for now. I know what you all did was necessary, it's just the finality of it hit me hard." Her emotions backed her statement. Esme shot me a quick look to verify, I nodded. Esme was thrilled to hear Bella call her Mom. Bella put her head in Esme's lap and asked, "Mom, tell me a story? Something fanciful and silly."

Esme complied. She knew thousands of stories from her volunteer work at children's hospitals. Story telling was one of her favorite things to do. She sat there all day, telling story after story. Rose and Emmett sat on the floor, just as engrossed as I was. I rarely took the time to listen to Esme's stories, especially since I never really had the control to go to the hospitals with her. It was a new experience listening to her tell us stories, I had heard a few before, but quite a few were new to me.

At one point, in the early afternoon, Carlisle brought Bella a salad. She happily munched on it. The sun was setting when Bella finally announced that she needed a human moment. When she came back, everyone could tell that the emotional turmoil had gotten to her. She was exhausted.

She chose to lie down on the couch, and Rosalie fetched Bella a pillow and some blankets. She seemed more relaxed out here than when she was in the spare room.

I grabbed a book from the shelf and settled down on the floor by her feet. She looked up at me groggily. I smiled at her, "Bella, would you like me to help keep the nightmares away?" She nodded sleepily. "Sweet dreams little one." She was out moments later with no help from me. I spent the rest of the evening monitoring her dreams, and chasing away her nightmares.


End file.
